ThatuponwhichIwasnowbentwasoffargreaterimportance,andyetIwaslessagitatedthanontheformeroccasion.AtlastIwascompletelycertainofthefacts,andwiththatcertaintyastrangecalmnesshadcometome.Icanrecallmyhavingtalkedforafewmomentswiththeservantwhoannouncedme,aboutachildofhiswhowasill.Ialsoremembertohaveobservedforthefirsttimethatthesmokychimneyofsomemanufacturingworksatthebackofthegarden,built,nodoubt,duringthelastwinter,wasvisiblethroughthewindowofthestaircase.
IrecordthesethingsbecauseIamboundtorecognizethatmymindwasquiteclearandfree--forIwillbesinceretotheend--whenIenteredthespaciousroom.
Mystepfatherwasreclininginadeeparmchairatthefarsideofthefireplace,andoccupiedincuttingthepagesofanewbookwithadagger.Thebladeofthisweaponwasbroad,short,andstrong.
HehadbroughttheknifebackfromSpain,withseveralotherkindsofarms,whichlayaboutintheroomshehabituallyoccupied.Inowunderstoodtheorderofideaswhichthissingulartasteindicated.Hewasdressedforwalking;buthisalteredlooksborewitnesstotheintensityofthecrisisthroughwhichhehadpassed.
Ithadaffectedhiswholebeing.
Verylikelymyfacewasexpressiveofanextraordinaryresolution,forIsawbyhiseyes,asourlooksmet,thathehadreadthedepthsofmythoughtsataglance.Nevertheless,hesaid:Ah,isityou,Andre?Itisverykindofyoutocome,thusexhibitingoncemorethepowerofhisself-control,andheputouthishand.
Ididnottakeit,andmyrefusal,contrastingwithhisgestureofwelcome,thesilencewhichIkeptforsomeminutes,thecontractionofmyfeatures,and,nodoubt,themenaceinmyeyes,entirelyenlightenedhimastothemoodinwhichIcametohim.Veryquietly,helaiddownhisbookandtheSpanishknifehehadbeenusing,onalargetablewithinhisreach,andthenherosefromhischair,leanedhisbackagainstthemantelpiece,andcrossinghisarms,lookedatmewiththehaughtystareIknewsowell,andwhichhadsooftenhumiliatedmeinmyboyhood.Iwasthefirsttobreakthesilence;replyingtohispolitegreetinginaharshtone,andlookinghimstraightintheface,Isaid:
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